Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
