Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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