i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
