this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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