why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
