You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
