I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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