apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
