worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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