he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
