I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
