Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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