Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
