his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
