put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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