Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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