I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
