Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
