Plan B is the new Plan A
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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