It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
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