theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
