What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
