So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
