Sponge bath it is.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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