we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
