as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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