yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
4 words: hood of his car
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
