The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
