forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
try to milk me bitch
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
