some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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