Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
