i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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