I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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