He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
