he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
