We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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