Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
