Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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