Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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