He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We left an ass print on the piano.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
