addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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