I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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