it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
