How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
