Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
His nipple licking is glorious
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