I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
