is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
