he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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