sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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