Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
